Feeling like Eeyore.

This is what I have been feeling like lately. I have been so sad and have been crying at the drop of a hat. I hate being here in St. Louis with out my family. I have a physical ache to hold my boys. I should really focus on my blessing I know, but this sadness has just been so all consuming. I should focus on the fact that things have worked out so well, we got the house in San Antonio, the house here has been taken care of for the most part, my transfer has been conditionally granted, the boys have a great new school, the new ward seems very nice, we have good new neighbors, my friend Stacy has allowed me to stay at her house while still in St. Louis and I could go on and on because I haven't even mentioned Dave getting into the program at UTSA, the money from his Uncle Terry and Aunt Jo and my incredible parents without whom most of this would not have been possible. Plus on top of all that my parents have done for us my mom's first really day of retirement is she at home sleeping in and relaxing, no she is on a plane from Salt Lake to San Antonio to help take care of my kids and relieve some of Dave's stress while I am stuck in St. Louis.

So many blessing so why can't I just focus on this stupid project and get it done so I can leave St. Louis and be with my family. But all I can think about is how much I miss them. Even when I am busy busy busy I sit at my computer and go through files putting this case together and have tears running down my face the whole time.

I know this move is the right thing for my family. I know that so many of our prayers have been answered, but I didn't know it would be this hard or that I would have to rely on so many people. And I especially didn't know it would be so hard on my boys. Would it be better for them if I was in San Antonio, if Dave weren't so stressed with school, if if if . . . ? Have I screwed up my children for life?

On top of all this my hair is falling out like crazy. I may actually be bald soon.